I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
