where am i from again
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
