that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
why is half of my head shaved?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
