is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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