didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
