I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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