let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Randomize
