Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
