Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
