I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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