She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
