Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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