Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
