your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
