Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
That's how pantless uber rides happen
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
