About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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