took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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