Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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