I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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