your thong is hanging out like whoa
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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