Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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