im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Holy shit dude........stairs
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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