we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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