Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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