Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
