Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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