Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
