Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
We were destined to go to rehab together
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize