Yo dont text me then not text me
She said her name was "party"
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
