i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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