I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
