i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
