My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
