Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize