You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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