I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
