If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
