You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Randomize
