Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
