AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
