ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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