I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
BRING THE BAGELS
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
