I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
