Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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