first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
