U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
