that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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