I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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