She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
