The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
