bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
