I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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