dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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